This is not a cry for help. This is a well-designed recruitment strategy.
My friend told me I can't be the third wheel anymore until I have someone by my side.
Non-negotiable. The dog gets five minutes minimum. If you have a problem with that, we've already identified our first red flag — and it's you. Dogs are the only beings who have never let me down and I will die on this hill (while petting a dog).
My love language is "wanna go for a ride right now?" at 11pm on a Tuesday. Destination optional. Vibes: mandatory.
"Let's just see where the night goes" is a sentence I have said with full sincerity.
This isn't sad. This is therapy. There's a difference. The water goes bloop, a bird does something dumb, I feel at peace. You're invited.
Octopus intelligence. Why crows remember faces. My dog's emotional complexity. The philosophy of roundabouts. Have you eaten? Are you okay? Anyway—
Cats, dogs, crows, goats, random cows on the road — I acknowledge them all.
*percentages are made up but the vibes are real
"Phone rakhde bhai, neend aa rahi hai😭"
"Tea spill kar jaldi☕"
"Saale lake pe krta kya hai tu"
This is legally non-binding but emotionally very serious. Fill it out honestly. I will read every word and probably overthink your answer to question 3.